Working Mom Musings | Vancouver, WA Photographer
When I first met this sweet family, I was the middle sister's preschool teacher and motherhood wasn't really on my radar. A lot has changed in 13 years! I'll never forget the advice my co-teacher gave me back then when I shared that I couldn't see myself as a stay-at-home mom. She said,
"There are great stay-at-home moms and there are great working moms. There are bad stay-at-home moms and there are bad working moms."
She also shared that one of the most important things to remember as a working mom was to not let the guilt of working cause you to be lax in how you raise them. I get this now. The last thing you want to do is spend the little time you have together, allowing them to experience the negative consequences of their poor choices. I feel bad enough for being gone and I just want our time together to be "happy." But time has flown by since this beautiful woman was a 3 year old in my class. I read somewhere that we have about 18 summers with our kids at home. I'm so thankful for this advice because I've always remembered it and although I've failed at times, I keep working on not allowing the guilt of being gone keep me from trying to raise the kind of humans my husband and I pray they'll be.
I've learned being a working mom not a "go it alone" activity. (No form of parenting is!)
I've always been strongly independent and pretty terrible at asking for help. But I am BEYOND grateful for my friendships these days and I couldn't begin to work and parent without them. I remember when my kids were super young feeling like Pinterest and social media totally set moms up to compete for "best mom" status rather than actually connect and support each other in the hard stuff, the real stuff. I adore my "keeping it real" female friends.
Speaking of keeping it real, square shaped cheese tastes the same as star shaped cheese and doesn't waste anything.
Homemade bubbles don't work as well as store bought ones and kids don't feel special because you took the time to make them. They just want to spend time blowing bubbles with you. Pinterest is a liar. It makes us feel like we aren't good enough. Don't do enough. If we really loved our kids, their bedrooms would look as fancy as the ones on Pinterest and their birthday parties would be just as perfectly designed like we'd hired a party planner and we'd spend hours and hours every day sitting and doing dozens of art projects with them. You know what my kids like? Playing Mancala. Over and over and over again. And reading books. And laying in bed talking about what's going on with friends at school. Just time.
Trying to not hurry the stages.
I remember when I had toddlers, there were a few moms with older kids who told me every stage has its own challenges and to just enjoy each stage. I secretly wanted to punch them. Having a toddler is crazy hard and anyone who says having elementary-aged kids is anything like having a toddler, has forgotten what toddlers are like...my 6 and 10 year olds can get in the car by themselves and buckle themselves in. That alone is AMAZING. Oh and they can get dressed and brush their teeth and hair and do a pretty great job bathing themselves. HOWEVER, now that they are in school I swear the years are FLYING by. I just feel like I need to soak them up. So yeah, I suppose I can see why some might want to slow it down in the early years. I said some. I did not say me. ;-) But I will admit I haven't made it to the teenage years yet, so we'll see...maybe those are more like toddlerhood. I'm certainly in no hurry.
Just doing the best and I can and praying.
When my oldest was a baby she nursed constantly and barely slept. I was just starting my first year of teaching elementary school and was exhausted and wasn't sure when it would end and everyone had an opinion about what we should do to get her to sleep. Eventually I followed the doctors suggestion. Stop nursing at night and let her cry. It worked. It didn't feel right. And of course every expert has warnings, let them cry and you ruin them forever. Don't let them cry and you ruin them forever. With my 2nd, I decided I would just trust my instincts and do what felt right to me as a mom. I nursed her until she was almost 2 years old. I rarely read parenting books and when I do, I take what makes sense for my family and toss the rest, no longer worry about what others might think. In the end, I know I have to trust God with my girls and just do the best I can. That has helped relieve a lot of guilt around being the perfect mom and doing the "right" thing all the time. I don't think there's one right thing. We're all just doing the best we can.
Getting over the need to look good in photos to be photographed.
Not really about being a working mom I suppose but I want my kids to be able to look back and see me in photographs. I know time is precious and no moment is promised to us. So make up or no make up, I take silly selfies on my phone and I put them in our family photo albums. And when I'm really on my game, I set up the tripod and use my remote trigger and just hang out with the kids and snap photos.
If you have a DSLR, it doesn't have to be a fancy one, you can get a cheap tripod and a cheap remote trigger and do this, too! It's actually my favorite way to get in photos with my girls. I've set it up in our back yard where we have a swing set and then I just hold the trigger and push the button occasionally while I push them on the swings or watch them slide down the slide. You should have a setting on your camera in the same place where the timer is that will show a little remote. Check your manual for more information or look online for tutorials or YouTube videos.
AND, if you have had professional photos of you and your kiddos taken in a while, well then, reach out book your session today!
